Monday, May 21, 2007

Oregonians can't drive

I read recently that Portland was one of the best cities for road rage. Apparently the survey takers didn't want my opinion. You know what I really hate? When Oregonians try and get on the freeway at 35mph. It's a fuckin' freeway you shitheads! If the speed limit is 55, most people are driving 50 to 70 meaning even my grandmother has to slow down so you can get your stupid ass on I-5. Why am I always behind that person? They leave me with half a second to accelerate out of the way of some oncoming semi, whose cranked up driver is rockin' out to Toby Keith with his #3 sticker on the back window and ready to run me off the road.

Then there are the two step lefties that don't have the patience or the balls to make a left turn from a side street to a major road and instead go sit in the middle turning lane and wait another five minutes to finish the process since they were at a stop in between two directions of traffic.

Now Oregon has this new law that you have to wait for pedestrians to get all the way through the crosswalk before you can drive your car through. I went to the Eastside and it drove me nuts. Nobody can walk across the street at the same time, and you just keep waiting and waiting and waiting. And they don't care, because they have a bus pass and that's their way of getting back at people like me who actually have good credit and can buy a car. I just came back from China, and in Shanghai, nobody cared if you were crossing the street with a walk signal or not. They just honked their horns and stepped on the gas, and if you didn't move you were dead. I was crossing this busy street and a bus ran a red light 5 seconds late and just laid on the horn. Everybody just started running and pushing each other like the Who was playing Cleveland. Maybe if that happened here there wouldn't be such an obesity problem.

Scott Stapp is a Tool

You know what I hate? The music of Creed. I've got that stupid "Can you take me higher yarrrgh" song stuck in my head right now. It's not because I've been rocking that crap on my ipod. No, I was reading the news and saw that Scott Stapp was arrested on domestic violence charges for throwing a bottle of Orangina at his wife. First off, I was mad that I even had to remember that tool and his crappy band. I thought their fifteen minutes was up, but he's trying milk a few more dollars out of stupid people. C'mon, admit it, one of you out there bought a Creed album. After all, they won a Grammy for best rock song right? Isn't that the seal of approval for All Things That Suck?

Some of you might be saying, "Hater, why let a no talent yarler like Scott Stapp make you mad, there's plenty of crappy music out there."

You're right, there is plenty of awful music in the world, but most is not made by lying, manipulative, former/current alcoholic drug addicts claiming to be born again Christians. Only one that I know of had a Behind the Music Special on VH-1. On it he cried about how he used to smoke weed, eat 'shrooms and acid, do blow and what an awful time it was. He claimed he was a born again Christian rockin' for God and what a pious person he had become. Then shortly after he was busted for cocaine and eventually kicked out of his band. "Can you get much lower yarrgh."

So now he's resorted to domestic violence charges to get attention for a flailing solo career. I hate that guy.